Half-hearted thoughts

WARNING: Mundane rants - Continue at your own risk


Today will be/is going to be a productive day. I'm not even sure if my grammar is correct. I feel so helpless. I feel powerless. Where did my confidence fly to? I want it back, pretty please!

I want to do well for my poly life, seeing how I did NOT succeed much in pri + sec life.. I want to achieve a GPA of at least 3.5. I need. I want to myself proud and everyone else around me. Fei got a GPA of 3.6(!!!!). At the same time, I want to have fun and enjoy what i'm doing. What's the point in life if you're only succeeding but not fully enjoying?

I want to do well for my very first assignment. It will be morale booster, it will be easier to keep up that way, because of self-fulling prophecy, if everyone expects me to do well, I will program myself to do it then? (Okay i think i'm trying to apply but i'm still not very sure gah!) Then again, what if I chose NOT to meet their expectations? Then this is the opposite of self-fulling prophecy? Is there a term for this?

Kind of wasted my whole day away yesterday. It felt like pre-O's, where I got mad at myself for not doing anything productive. Seriously. Need to kick this bad habit far far away. Put it in a box, closed it tight, locked it up, throw away the key, and then shipped the box to Pluto, the furthest planet/satellite away. Usually on Saturdays there's nothing much to watch on Tv, but yesterday there were a lot! Practically the whole day! So i was pretty much hopping channels, between the laptop and the tv, and not so much of completing my journal. ):

That was after my lovely brunch with Shermin & Sherlyn @ our egg&toast&lemontea coffeeshop. Yes we're regulars. We should have more brekky like this on a late Saturday morning, sharing our anecdotes and bits & pieces of our lives. Gonna see em again on Monday to celebrate Sherlyn's bday! Love ya all xoxo :)

Today will be better. It must! I know i'm only putting in half-hearted effort and it won't get me anywhere, so I'mma put in my 1000%, stop bloghopping, stop checking Twitter, stop refreshing Facebook home page every 10 mins. Stop. S. T. O. P.

& I need to start thinking like a SOCPSYC student and not dismiss it, like it's nothing. It's something. I need a deeper understanding of the concepts before I can really start writing. I need think. I need to understand. I need to know the difference between Halo Effect, First Impressions, & Stereotype. I need to think deeper. I need to use my brains more. I need S. O. S. Argh.

For now, I know that the Halo Effect is referring to an individual, while Stereotype is referring to a group of people. SO? See that's my problem. My thoughts are only on the surface. I need to go deeper. How now brown cow?

I'm not comfortable spilling out my thoughts to strangers.

I'm only one-fifth done? But it's only the quantity, not so much of quality? This is super frustrating!! ):

I better progress more today or time would be running out!!!!

P.S. I think i found Pete Wentz's facebook through Arin's. Both of em are awesome!!!!!

x x x

Shades of grey

I am a tad bit scared(?) or nervous to post because I don't know who's gonna read all of this and how they're gonna react. I know I can be all, who gives a fuck this is my blog i can write whatever I want and don't give a fuck what others think about me hell yeah to freedom of speech, but no that's not how reality works and I am pretty bothered by it. 

I don't like being alone. I start to think too much (-ve) stuff. I would rather not think but then that would mean I am dead eh? So I start to think about a lot of stuff. A lot.

Orientation camp & poly life made me miss secondary school life a whole lot. How safe, how comfortable, how fun I was with everybody! Seriously. And to have great friends you must be a friend in the first place. It's not easy. 4 years ya know!! Now it is a new year, new school, new faces, everything is damn freaking new and there's this sense of uncertainty and ambiguity I got which I don't like at all, a comfort zone that has yet to be achieved. Then again, that's how people grow. Taking the road less travelled. Taking risks. Taking chances. Grabbing opportunities that come knocking on your door. I'm going to grow healthily.

Shoutout to my lovelies which I did not forget for they are a bunch of lovely people I would regret forgetting: Jiayan, Miaowen, Tay, Clarissa, Diana, Yayah, Shermin, Sherlyn, Tzuying, Jong, Jaime, Haziq!! Miss all of ya v much! Any time ya all going out stay out longer then I find ya all after my school ends @ 3 or 5! The next time I see ya all should be to celebrate Sherlyn's 17th and before the JC peepz start school!! & PU trip!!!!

& then there's my mahjong kakis - Angeline, Derick & Zhenlu! Too bad I have school on Wed + Fridays if not since it's Derick off days we would be playing 9-10 hours like last time!! Now vvv hard to find a time to play alr ):

(Talking to Shermin now on FB CHAT and she's making me damnnn eggciteddddd and high because they have plans to meet on Wednesday which is super awesomeeee because school ends at 2.30/3 for me on Weds!!!!! CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YA ALL ON WEDDDD AFTER MY SCHOOL I hate you all for going to eat Popeyes w/o me D: Help me to tabao okay!!! )

& then there's Ms Tan which OMG you are seriously the sweetest teacher EVER!!!!

& then there's MG!!! Don't worry I won't forget about ya all ^^ Meet up again ASAP!!

& then there's Darl who is also as sweeet since foreverrrrr :

@boycottxxxlove Who exactly am I?

@heartstringx @boycottxxxlove You're my Darl!

What makes it even more awesome is that we're studying NEXT DOOR only!!! Meet up for lunch soon!


The new people, and whom I am proud to call friends, I've met so far from all walks of life are awesome!!!! & that is an understatement!!! There are peepz from 7UP - Jolene (who is in mass comm with me, high five babe!!), Alaine, Weiling, Clarissa, Helga Hema (hahaha), Gek Heong, Xue Ying, Meizhen, Zi Cong, Kenneth, Nicholas, Weihao, Yewliang, Matthew, not forgetting GLs - Rina, Cheri, Serena, Jasper, & Grayson *one Grayson clap*!! ^^ Orientation camp was definitely beyong ah-mazing because in the end we are all happy people with bonds that could not be broken! Okay cheesy much.

Then there are the FMS peepz (including Jolene :D) - Clarissa Sih (are you dead?!), Kristen, Tania, Arin, Siying, Ira, Kelly, Hafizah, and a whole lot of others which I wish to know better during this 8 weeks!!!

(Finally got a call from Yayah and I LOVE YOU BABE TTM!! For reassuring me!! Please call me again soon hahaha miss you xoxo)

OH YES I GOT A NEW PHONE NOKIA E63 SAY HELLO TO UNLIMITED SMSes!!! :D

"Writing has therapeutic effect on me." Hell yeah!!! THIS IS GG TO BE AN AWESOME WEEK AHEAD!!!

Not forgetting, Mama is going to BKK with Ting + Fei without me (!!!!!!!!) this weekend which means she'll be away for 4 days. WHOO FREEDOM!!

Okay tata for now ^^

x x x

11 days

This blog is as good as dead and being buried alive and cremated and then having its ashes thrown all over. I'm sorry for the lack of updates but my excuses are: lack of time and lack of words to put my thoughts into words fitted to be shown. What makes me even more miffed is that this is suppose to be a new blog with regular updates but I'm still NOT posting. -.-

Needless to say, the past 11 days of the 2k10 has been nothing short of awesome!!! Prolly except for today because of the ugliest hair cut since forever and I have to live with it to make new friends from all walks of life!! You know, first impressions do count but I hope i have the chance to prove my worth ^^ (OH AMMM GEEEEEEEE GAH!!!) Met so many peepz (Darl, my lovelies, MG, BV peepz, new friends etc) that makes my life so fulfilling!!!

I think i'm falling sick. Yes I am definitely sick.

Okay short post for now!!

x x x

2010

Goodbye 2K9, hello TwentyTen!!!